


Catra's Shield

by queerhedgehog



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Canonical Child Abuse, F/F, Finding healing in love, Healing, Meta, Other, Protectiveness, Psychology, Queer Themes, She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018) Season 5 Spoilers, Symbolism, Trauma, but therapy would be even better
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2020-05-24
Packaged: 2021-03-03 06:07:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24360028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queerhedgehog/pseuds/queerhedgehog
Summary: A meta piece I came up with regarding the significance of Adora's shield popping up in the critical climax scene of the series finale.
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 67





	Catra's Shield

**Author's Note:**

> I have so many feelings about Catra and this show. 
> 
> Series finale spoileriest spoilers below.

This essay revolves around the moment in the climax in the plot during Catra begging Adora to not give up while they are in the Heart of Etheria, right after Catra begs Adora to stay and Adora materializes She Ra's shield immediately behind Catra's back, shielding them both. (pictured below)

So I don't know about anyone else, but my heart exploded into little gay pieces at the detail of the shield in particular during this scene.

So much of human (...and cat-people, presumably) well-being is based on the need to feel fundamentally safe, and a lot of that general sense of safety comes from the protection our caregivers are supposed to provide to us. There's a reason psychiatric attachment disorders are so notoriously hard to treat and cope with. Without the mooring that we're inherently worthy of protection, and that there will be someone there to help provide that safety specifically for us, the world becomes a terrifying, untrustworthy minefield. And oftentimes the reaction to that lack of protection manifests the way we see it in Catra-- with the knowledge that walking close to others is little more than a liability, because their missteps can take us out. I grew up as a neglected kid, and that deep burning need for someone to keep you safe is overwhelming.

Much of Catra's hurt and rage comes from not being chosen as a person worthy of love and primacy, as this [Tor.com article does an amazing job of laying out](https://www.tor.com/2020/05/20/love-cant-make-you-a-villain-how-she-ras-catra-helped-make-sense-of-my-heart/). But I'd also argue so much of Catra's dysfunction comes from the idea that she's not only always unsafe, but also unworthy of protection. Shadow Weaver, her parental stand-in, is actively an antagonist in this realm, and Adora, though she tries at times, is an abused child herself who has no chance of adequately standing up to Shadow Weaver and the Horde’s abuse on behalf of either of them.

Catra is able to cope with it more while Adora is around because even though it’s inadequate, Adora provides the sense that at least this one person has deemed her worthy of protection. Adora’s leaving starts Catra down a path where those feelings that she’s unworthy of protection have been solidified. In Catra’s mind, Adora tries to protect everyone _except_ her, and when that includes even her most immediate abuser, that solidification of her worthlessness and the feeling of being completely unprotected causes the suicidal fits of destructive rage in season 3, and why she can’t take the obvious outs to happiness like leading an awesome desert gang with Scorpia. Catra’s psyche knows she’s fundamentally unsafe, and scrambling to find anyone to provide some of the required safety she so desperately craves and needs. But her training has also taught her no one can actually provide it. She is caught in a tug of war of trying to get the powerful guy to protect her (and then gaining power because she thinks that will protect her) while knowing he won’t because she’s unworthy. This carries on until season 5, when it finally sets in that she’s not going to find that protection anywhere. She is left with nothing but the unworthiness and the complete powerlessness of being a prisoner. Because she is a broken person, not a fundamentally bad one, her “fuck it” to combat the powerlessness this time while still in the midst of being basically suicidal is to save Glimmer.

This is why Adora returning to get her is so critical. It is the first step of reiterating to Catra that she is worthy of being protected. However, that single instance isn’t going to be enough to unshake a lifetime of damage. Catra didn’t ask for this, and it’s easy for her to believe this is Adora just stroking her own ego. But in the climax of the fail safe scene, Catra is begging Adora to show her that she is worth protecting. She isn’t asking Adora to stick around to save Etheria, or her other friends, or for feats of heroism but instead solely to save _her_. Catra is telling Adora everything she needed to articulate every time she was hurt and unsafe, every time she felt abandoned. She finally had done enough internal work to be able to say the scariest thing she could, which was essentially “help me; you’re the only one I trust to help me.”

And Adora popping back with the shield, not the sword, was the most beautiful visual metaphor for Adora hearing her and showing Catra that yes, she was worthy of protection too. There is a full pause on that moment, with Catra looking utterly confused and then shocked that her ask was answered perfectly. And I’m sure if we got a Steven Universe Future-esque prologue series, we’d rightly see that of course this single instance isn’t enough to fully heal Catra (it took a lifetime to get there, it’ll take a lifetime to fix it) it’s a fantastic symbol that Adora gets Catra’s traumas and they can work on them together.

Which I just... ***swoon****. Noelle Stevenson gave us such a gift with this series.

ps. I don’t mean to make this essay sound like Catra’s dysfunction or hurt is Adora’s fault for leaving or not doing enough. It’s absolutely not. Adora was also an abused child doing the best she could. The weight of Catra’s trauma is not for Adora to fix, which is why the only reason this relationship works is they were apart for five seasons and both worked through some of their shit. But being able to get that distance and then come back together to a place where it could be worked on together in a healthy manner? *chef kiss*


End file.
